I stood outside the restaurant, watching the happy women dating men. H

Published Monday, 24th Aug 01:32 BST

I stood outside the restaurant, watching the happy women dating men. How happy they were. Warm, safe, and content in the solitude of their tables. A person sitting on the table closest to them could be screaming, yet the couples would still be devoid of interest to anything in the world other than their lover.Thunder cracked above my heard. Sheets of rain followed immediately, drenching me down to my toes. I wished that I could be one of them inside the restaurant. I do not remember the last time I had been that happy, or if I have ever been happy. Sometimes life is so perfect that you never stop to think that it could all go away. Some things go in the blink of an eye. Others slowly go, giving us the time to get hurt. I want to get over the pain. Nevertheless, how can I, when every time I look there is a couple smiling happily with their hands interlocked.I could use a hug right now. I could also use a life. Reasons to have a life, as couples do. If you cannot live for yourself, then live for someone else. The reason for life is to love and to be loved. I have learned that the hard way. Dating men was a hard time in my life. I was hurt, but the pain goes away.Dating men was also a great part of my life. I learned to enjoy parts of it that I had never dreamed of before. I miss the way I felt when I would cuddle with my man. He would gaze into my eyes and claim that he never wanted to look away. He said that he would never have a better girlfriend, yet he went from me to another.As I look through the window, I remember how happy I was with him. He hurt me, but he was the best time I have ever had. Perhaps our time was a mistake, but I cannot help missing him. If I get another boyfriend, I will make sure it does not go south the way my last relationship went.dating men is a world that is a mystery to me. I do not know how to get out there and get over my shyness. Maybe it is a chance happening that will give me the go. Whatever it is, I cannot spend the rest of my life wondering the what ifs.

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