I had been dating free for a long time and grown to know only the arom
Published Friday, 2nd Oct 10:55 BST
I had been dating free for a long time and grown to know only the aroma of a strange, faceless woman on my clothes when I picked them up and finally put them back on again. Dating free was an opportunity for me to feel sexy but dating free just isn't for me these days. I want a girl with a familiar name and face who I can have that gives me that feeling synonymous with her while we cuddle. I feel like such a damn woman... cuddling... I have always been regarded as a lone wolf and everyone has doubted my ability to truly commit to one woman. Last year I turned them all into believers but it seems as though I will have to do the same once again; perhaps I'll even have to prove this to myself once again to ensure that it wasn't a fluke. Dating free is not the life for me anymore as I have only ever lived for myself. Maybe it is indeed time that I stopped doing that and started living for someone else... someone like... her.
As the rest of my life has gone, I refuse to light a single cigarette for it is a temporary shortcut --a false solution-- and will only create more problems down the road with long term side effects of a short term problem. I refuse to be caught sympathizing with the weakness of others. Having a good drink, though? That's a different story. I have always said that there is nothing wrong with ONE good night of solid drinking. There's nothing wrong with it and it turns to be a good thing as long as you're with her; you know, the one you live for. The truth is that I am indeed the greatest sex symbol in the underground and that I am only the modeling world's best kept secret because they simply stand or sit around all day and take orders. Worse yet, they have these very orders and their obedience captured on film for all the world to observe. Then again, is that not what a relationship turns into often times? Being told exactly what position to be in, what to do while you're in it and how you should feel doing it. At least while dating free you have the option of leaving whenever you want... normally the very next morning.
Often times I confuse myself...
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